All Kinds of Sexy

Fashion designers say, “Bye-Bye, Va-Va-Boom!”

bombshellbetty — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 08:22:32 +0000

I was so excited when I read the article, “Va-Va-Boom” by Lynn Yaeger in the Sept 2010 issue of Vogue. The article described how fashion designers had hired Victoria’s Secret models for the catwalk shows and how wonderful it was to see some womanly curves on the runways, where curves had not been seen in decades:

Laeticia Casta on the Louis Vuitton runway, Fall 2010.

At least not until last spring, when Kerr, Ambrosio, and a passel of other VS ladies made startling appearances on illustrious catwalks from Prada to Louis Vuitton, locales formerly reserved for waiflike ingenues…

The emergence of the VS women on catwalks thrilled the fashion audience — did this mean that the industry finally had a place for slightly bigger, slightly older women? Could all the talk about healthier bodies, the concern that super skinny models make poor role models, finally be paying off in the vaunted recesses of Paris and Milan? Was the yawning gulf between the pinup and the runway finally vanishing in a glorious celebration of womanhood that would encompass everyone from slinky teen to bodacious babe of a certain age?

Nicolas Ghesquiere, who cast Kerr in his last two Balenciaga shows, says… “I thought it was in interesting twist to have Miranda on the Balenciaga runway. In real life, great clothes, in any size, look great on any kind of woman: skinny or curvy. It’s more about personal style and elegance.”

What a lovely sentiment coming from a high-end fashion designer! Unfortunately, it would seem that allowing a few curves to grace the runways on models with otherwise still impossibly perfect bodies does not equate to embracing female curves on full-sized bodies (i.e. larger than a size 0-2):

The dress that proves fashion has gone mad: We reveal how the world’s sexiest woman had to BEG for a gown - because designers think she’s too curvy

In the Vogue article, Marc Jacobs, who also hired Victoria’s Secret models for his fall fashion runway shows in 2010, never made any pretense that he thought the show of curves on the runway showed anything deeper than a momentary fashion whim:

“A bustier, a flared skirt–ultrafeminine! There wasn’t a pair of pants in the show. It ws almost a cliche of the feminine ideal–the bust, the small waist–sumptuous and voluptuous. A fresh, retro feeling, like a calendar girl.” Which is how he ended up casting Ambrosio, Adriana Lima and even VS veteran Elle Macpherson. “The bodies were the right bodies for the clothes,” he explains simply.

Jacobs acknowledges that his decision to use rounder models was a big, fat hit. “There was such a sign of relief from press and buyers that there were clothes for women.” But he’s reluctant to commit when I ask him how permanent he thinks this shift is. “I heard from a lot of people who wanted me to say that it’s not a fleeting moment. I think it was the new thing to talk about this season,” he says frankly, “but I don’t know how lsating it will be. What we all love and hate about fashion is that it’s all about change–and who knows what we will love and what will feel fresh next season?”

Unfortunately, it would seem that Jacobs was right, and the moderately curvier silhouette celebrated briefly on the runway last season was just a trendy moment for the fashion world, despite the huge demand from women everywhere for designers to create clothing for real womens’ bodies.

In fact, rather than celebrating womanly curves, the fashion industry has swung the pendulum in the opposite direction. The new “it” model on the fashion runways, showing off the new women’s fashions, is a MAN!

From Andrej Pejic: The man modelling womenswear, by Brigitt Hauck, BBC News:

A male model is the talk of the womenswear shows at London fashion week. So why is a man gaining plaudits for modelling women’s clothes?

…”Andrej is obviously beautiful and he has the most amazing figure. When you consider that a lot of designers are designing for this impossible ideal for someone who is 5ft 11in, no hips and no chest,” says the Daily Telegraph’s fashion director Hilary Alexander.

Pejic has captivated designers, with his build regarded as nearly perfect for modelling high fashion looks.
Couture wear is made for the tall, twiggy and flat bodies that most women, even models, don’t have. Essentially, the clothing is quite suitable for a lean man or even a boy.

So what’s a girl to do? If you need a little self-esteem boost now that the brief pop cultural affair with curves seems to have died down, all I can say is: Get thee to a burlesque show!!!

As one of the Victoria’s Secret models in the Vogue article said:

“Being a bombshell is more than looks!” Ambrosio, who manages to seem at once surprisingly tiny and smoldering, is saying in her lilting Brazilian accent. “What is a bombshell? It’s a sexy energy that comes from inside!”

RIP Isabelle Caro, anorexic model turned activist

bombshellbetty — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 02:11:47 +0000

Isabelle Caro, a French actress and model who has struggled with anorexia since the age of 13, has died at the age of 28. In 2007, she was featured in an anti-anorexia ad campaign by Italian photographer Oliviero Toscani and was working to get legislation passed to prohibit models from working if they become unhealthily thin.

Caro once appeared on Jessica Simpson’s “The Price of Beauty.” Read the article from the Huffington Post and view the video clip from the Oprah show and a photo from the 2007 shock campaign here.

What Message Does Weight-Loss TV Send?

bombshellbetty — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 05:06:19 +0000

This article, “What Message Does Weight-Loss TV Send To Teens?” by Camilla Nord, addresses how weight-loss TV and other weight-obsessed media affects teen self-esteem, but I think the ideas presented in this article apply to all of us! Here’s just a little snippet:

Healthy weight is good; unhealthy weight loss is not. This is a simple fact rarely conveyed in short term weight-loss shows. This does not encompass the wider influence of weight loss on television, in before/after photos of Hollywood starlets, and in countless magazine headlines blaring “Lose those last ten pounds!” Anorexia did not come out of nowhere for young girls around the world. If weight loss is held up as a prize proving your self-control, even proving your self-worth, it is unsurprising that this ideology comes to define a large number of young people.

Body-Image issues for men

bombshellbetty — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 04:42:21 +0000

While my focus in this blog and in my career in general has always been womens’ self-esteem and body image issues, that is not because I have ever believed that men do not have body-image issues as well. Quite the contrary! An article posted today, “Not for women only: Men join the battle of the bulge” by Russel Plummer, has this to say:

As Americans entered the third Millennium, body image dissatisfaction — particularly among college-age men — continued as a growing concern for men, according to a Milwaukee School of Engineering (MSOE) newsletter on mental health.

Research on men’s health shows eating disorders may be driven by competition to stay more defined than other men. It also indicates media plays a significant role by presenting unrealistic images of the ideal male body and advertisements promoting weight lifting, exercise products and underwear have become increasingly sexualized and dehumanized men, according to the MSOE report.

“In the past, (weight loss) has been a female thing,” said Crystal Schoenborn, a personal trainer at Dedicated Fitness, 44 N. Main St. “… I think a lot more men have issues with being overweight. Body image is becoming a focus for men. In our society, men need to look good too.”

WTF, Marie Claire? Stop Size-ism in the Media!

bombshellbetty — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 08:39:03 +0000

The internet is buzzing about Maura Kelly’s recent blog entry for Marie Claire entitled, “Should ‘Fatties’ Get a Room? (Even on TV?).” There is an uproar on Twitter (#unfollowmarieclaire) and Facebook, and the magazine has received approximately 28,000 email responses to the post. Kelly is “excited and moved by their responses,” which means she really doesn’t get the point, because the pubic is not crying out in approval of her blog post, it is crying out in outrage about her fat-hating bigotry.

I first read about this post a few days ago, and I decided not to post about it, because I didn’t want to spread the negativity by drawing attention to it. That was before I read about Marie Claire’s response to the outcry. Instead of apologizing for the hate-filled article and removing it from their website, they seem to be taking an “any publicity is good publicity” stance and basking in the negative attention. Enough is enough. It’s time to do something about this!

The article is so hate filled and awful that I don’t even want to copy and paste quotes here. Instead, I am pasting a call to action from a very well-written response to the Huffington Post article, “Dear Marie Claire and Media: Fat People Are People, Too” by Josh Shahryar, Journalist and Human Rights Activist:

Overweight people have become marginalized by the media simply because they’re overweight. Just like African Americans were marginalized because they were black and more recently, gay people because they’re gay. I understand fully that unlike the color of someone’s skin or someone’s sexual orientation obesity is a medical condition and a problem, but obese people aren’t. That is the issue. That is the problem. That is what both overweight, “normal” weight and underweight people need to come together and fight against…

I urge everyone who finds size-ism in the media as a menace to view this as a watershed moment. It’s time to come together and fight this bigotry to the bitter end. Change does not come without someone pushing for it. If we want this to change, if we want for us, overweight or not, to not be judged by our BMI, we need to not let this fire die down.

We need to stand up and demand change. Even if it means we need to force the issue daily on social networking sites. Even if it means we have to boycott media that continue to practice this bigotry. Even if it means we have to hold peaceful demonstrations for the end of this practice. If media does not change, we cannot change this culture that seems to have been forever marginalizing overweight people.

It’s not just people judging you on the street. It’s about losing job opportunities. It is about equal treatment in the health care system. It is about being able to breathe, knowing everything’s gonna be alright.

So, what actions can we take to demand an end to size-ism in the media? First of all, boycott Marie Claire! That seems pretty obvious. But what other ideas can you think of to 1) create change in the media’s attitude about weight and 2) minimize the negatives affects the media’s presentation of “ideal” body types has on our lives and the lives of our children? Please post your ideas!

Scholarship Program and Ambassador application process has been fixed!

bombshellbetty — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 20:15:25 +0000

After launching the Bombshell Betty® Everyday Bombshell™ Scholarship Program and Ambassador Program, I received emails and comments telling me that the link to the application didn’t work. After having no success making the Google Docs form work properly, I have decided to accept applications via email! To apply, simply go here. I apologize for the confusion, and I hope you will have no problem with the new application process.

I have already started receiving some donations to the Scholarship Fund, so stay tuned for updates as I start implimenting the program.

Go on, say it! What do you love about your body?

bombshellbetty — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 21:04:19 +0000

In response to the conversation in the comments section on my Body Talk post, I was already thinking of posting about positive body talk. It turns out that October 18-22, 2010 is Fat Talk Free Week. Talk about synchronicity!

It has always seemed to me that women are conditioned to argue with you rather than accept a compliment. “Who, me? Look good? No, no, no, you’re crazy!” I once had a woman come up to me after hearing me respond to a compliment by saying, “Thank you! You are so sweet to say so,” and tell me that it had never occurred to her that she could just say “Thank you.”

So how much harder is it for women to say nice things about our own bodies? Does the very idea make you cringe? I challenge you ladies, for Fat Talk Free Week, to post something you like about your body here. Hell, go ahead and gush! To be fair, I’ll start. Check the comments section…

Announcing the Everyday Bombshell™ Scholarship Program!

bombshellbetty — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 08:03:07 +0000

Because I feel very strongly that everyone deserves to feel sexy and develop confidence, I have decided to launch the Bombshell Betty® Everyday Bombshell™ Scholarship Program to provide self-esteem enhancing classes, services and products at no charge to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, and women overcoming eating disorders, physical disabilities, economic disadvantages and other intense challenges to their self-esteem.

Since 2004, I have watched my programs create positive changes in the lives of thousands of women across the country and around the world. I am looking forward to teaming up with local shelters, treatment programs and support groups to expand the scope of these services through this Scholarship Program.

To apply for the Scholarship Program, go here.

You can be a Body Image Activist!

To get the ball rolling, I am looking for Everyday Bombshell™ Ambassadors to help promote the program and raise funding for the Scholarship Program.

Every month, a new Ambassador will be featured on the All Kinds of Sexy blog. Each Ambassador will set a fundraising goal and promote the page during the month they are featured in order to find sponsors to help them reach their fundraising goal. Plus, Ambassadors are given a code to include in their promotions so that during the month of theirAmbassadorship, 10% of all sales and registrations by new customers using the code will go toward the Ambassador’s fundraising goal. Qualifying Everyday Bombshell™ Ambassadors may also be eligible toreceive products and services through the Scholarship Program.

Want to participate? Apply to be an Everyday Bombshell™ Ambassador here.

Donate to the Scholarship Fund

You can also help by donating directly to the Scholarship Fund!

* 100% of direct donations (minus credit card processing fees) go toward the
Everyday Bombshell™ Scholarship Program.

* PLUS: For every $1 that is donated directly to the fund, Bombshell Betty® Dance and Pinup Services will contribute an additional $1 worth of free classes, services and products. So if you donate $20, Bombshell Betty will provide $40 worth of services and products through the Scholarship Program; if you donate $100, Bombshell Betty will provide $200 worth of services through the Scholarship Program.

To donate, click here.

At this time, donations made to the Scholarship Fund are not tax deductable, however we are working to change this in the near future! In the meantime, your donations are going to a good cause AND worth double the amount you donate.

Body Comments – How “You’ve lost weight” can be just as bad as “Does this make my ass look big?”

bombshellbetty — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 20:18:57 +0000

We all know that asking “Do these jeans make my ass look big?” is a conversational no-no. It’s a no-brainer. It’s just asking for trouble. However, many of us may not realize that many things we say to each other, intending them to be compliments or just looking to relate, can hurt the self esteem of those around us.

I often hear some negative self-talk in my beginning burlesque classes. When people first come to the classes, they are often feeling insecure, wondering if they should have signed up for a class that is all about being sexy when they don’t necessarily feel sexy. Different parts of the Bump and Grind warmup emphasize different body parts, and women will often bring up their insecurities when asked to do moves that emphasize body parts that they don’t like on their own bodies. I am ready with responses that help smooth the insecurities and get the women to focus on their own enthusiasm and sexiness rather than individual body parts. I have developed these responses to help smooth the insecurities of the individuals who are coming out with negative self-talk as well as the women in the room who are hearing it, because negative talk can spread insecurity like wildfire. If a woman says something negative about her big ass or small boobs or whatever, every woman in the room who feels insecure about that body part suddenly feels ugly.

The problem is, the woman is often saying the negative comment in an attempt to get reassurance or to relate to the other women, not even thinking that it might hurt the other women in the room. She might not even realize how often she does this. Negative talk makes everyone feel worse about their bodies, even women who you may think have “perfect” bodies. We all have body issues, so I think it is worth learning how to talk about our bodies in ways that won’t trigger problems in others.

I came across a few great articles about this recently. This one and this one are actually advice about how to talk to tween/teen daughters to avoid negatively affecting her self-esteem, but I think the advice is equally applicable for talking to any woman.

Sometimes even a compliment can backfire. This article talks about how “You’ve lost weight” is often not a positive remark, and this article talks about how any comment on someone’s body can be negative and what to do in the face of unwanted body commentary.

Please feel free to comment with your thoughts on this. How do comments on your weight, whether intended as compliments or not, make you feel? How does it make you feel when other people criticize their own bodies? How do you handle this?

Guilt or pleasure? Are you ready to rethink how you relate to food?

bombshellbetty — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 22:38:03 +0000

Do you find yourself beating yourself up for what you are eating rather than taking pleasure in the deliciousness of your food? I came across an inspiring blog post about being concious of what we are eating and appreciating our food, rather than making every meal a judgement-filled guilt-fest. The author decided to start saying grace before every meal as a way to focus on appreciation rather than self judgement. Here is an excerpt:

Mostly, I have tended to start meals with thoughts like, “I shouldn’t be eating this,” or “Naughty, Naughty!” Every morsel is labeled – crap, junk, bad carb, bad fat – and I am labeled, too. Bad Fattie. Unless it’s vegetables. Then, I’m off the guilt hook. But, since one cannot subsist on vegetables alone, I am left with years of meals, day in and day out, in which I am instantly stressed out and devalued before I even put fork to food.

Obviously, eating has not felt very sacred, or divine, or pleasant, or even just tolerable. The reality that I have been oblivious to in all of my crazy diet mentality is that our food is absolutely sacred.

The author decided to honor the sacred aspect of her meals by starting a practice of saying grace before every meal to encourage herself to appreciate her food rather than beat herself up for the way she eats. Read the full post here!

Another great way to shift from guilt to pleasure is through mindfulness, a simple yet powerful Buddhist practice. In the March 2010 edition of O Magazine, Oprah interviewed Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk whom Martin Luther King Jr. called “an apostle of peace and nonviolence.” He has been a monk for over 60 years, and has been exiled from his native country of Vietnam for over 40 years for his vocal opposition to war.

This is how he explained the concept and how it related to eating during his interview with Oprah:

Nhat Hanh: If you breathe in and are aware that you are alive – that you can touch the miracle of being alive – then that is a kind of enlightenment. Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive… But with a practice, we can always remain alive in the present moment. With mindfulness, you can establish yourself in the present in order to touch the wonders of life that are available in that moment. It is possible to live happily in the here and the now. So many conditions of happiness are available – more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more…

Suppose you are drinking a cup of tea. When you hold your cup, you may like to breathe in, to bring your mind back to your body, and you become fully present. And when you are truly there, something else is also there – life, represented by the cup of tea. In that moment, you are real, and the cup of tea is real. You are not lost in the past, in the future, in your projects, in your worries. You are free from all of these afflictions. And in that state of being free, you enjoy your tea. That is the moment of happiness, and of peace. When you brush your teeth, you may have just two minutes, but according to this practice, it is possible to produce freedom and joy during that time, because you are established in the here and now. If you are capable of brushing your teeth in mindfulness, then you will be able to enjoy the time when you take a shower, cook your breakfast, sip your tea…

OPRAH: Do you do the same thing with all food?

Nhat Hanh: Yes, we have silent meals eaten in such a way that we get in touch with the cosmos, with every morsel of food.

With this in mind, I challenge you to eat mindfully for one week and see if it affects the way you relate to your food and the way you treat yourself during mealtimes. Practice appreciation for the delicious flavors, the nourishment, and the good company that surrounds you, and let the self-criticism drop. Let’s stop hating ourselves for being living organisms that need to eat to live!

Bon appetit!